Ain't you ever been to a launderette before?!
Fill in the form to book your 'washing machine' - stating the date, time and the number of 'washes' - CLUE: 1 person = 1 wash
(Don't ring us, no one here will have any idea what you're talking about!)
Await further instructions by email - Read this email carefully & follow all instructions - Without the instructions, you won't get through the door!
Q: Is it true we can expect to find the best cocktails and punches in the world?
A: No! We are a launderette, so stop bloody asking us!